I was recently nominated for a Streamy, which from what I gather is a little bit like an Emmy but for web content, in the category of Best Male Performance in a Drama for my work in Battleground. You can see from the nominee list that I am (or was, by the time of this writing, seeing as the awards have already taken place) up against some pretty stiff competition, so my hopes of winning are (were appropriately) set fairly low. But, as one’s loved ones are wont to say, it is a supreme honor just to be nominated! And, as is everything in life I suppose, it was very educational. And now, if you’ll permit me, I’ll pass some of my new found insights into the Hollywood Dream machine on to you, gentle reader.
One thing I learned about were red carpets. Now, even I’m not sheltered to the point of not knowing what a red carpet is — I already knew full well that red carpets were “A Thing.” I might even go so far as to say that I knew they were “A Press Thing.” I had imagined them to be glamorous and thrilling and terrifying and chaotic, with throngs of desperate reporters begging for one more photo or juicy bits of gossip, and asking hard-hitting personal questions that make me turn my back to them and mumble “no comment” while my… uh… agent or best friend or bodyguard barks “no more questions!” The Streamys began with me walking down a red carpet, and now that I’ve done it, I can testify that it is more or less exactly what I imagined. Except all of the hard hitting questions were about my favorite YouTube personalities, the photographers asked me to step out of the way so they could get shots that solely featured my lovely Battleground co-star Alison Haislip (which, admittedly, is pretty understandable), and the bodyguard role was filled by a delightful PR representative named Diana (I believe), who was very nice but was never placed in a situation where she had to bark anything.
Seriously though, the red carpet was amazing. It was divided up into two sections — the photo section and the question section. The photo section, as alluded to above, mostly consisted of watching Alison get her picture taken by photographers from various media outlets, but there was still a couple of moments of multiple photographers vying for my/our attention, trying to get us to look towards their specific camera, which made me feel special and cool. And although some of the inquiries during the question section seemed a *little* bit like possible filler questions, Alison and I both had several opportunities to talk about our love for Battleground, Madison, WI, and our pride of being a part of streaming entertainment.
We then met up with our hot dates! We were honored with the company of none other than JD Walsh (the creator, director, and lead writer of Battleground. An all around heartthrob) and Jay Hayden (Battleground’s own Tak Davis. Also a heartthrob). We then took our seats, which was the first time I had ever been inside the Hollywood Palladium. It was a beautiful venue. Very fancy. I was lucky enough to get a primo seat in the very front row! And not even because I got there first — the seat was reserved, just for me! Although I’m sure the audience was chock full of celebrities (I mean, besides me, Alison, JD and Jay of course), I was particularly star struck by being only a few seats away from George Takei. Alas, I was too shy to say hello, though he probably would have been nice about it. (I mean, if its OK to be Takei it would probably be ok to say hey to Takei, too.
Once the actual ceremony began, everyone was really excited and happy! But not excited and happy enough, apparently, as several times throughout the evening some guy came out on stage and chastised us for not laughing hard enough at the jokes. I admit, I might not have been laughing as loudly as I would otherwise, because I was actually nursing the hope that I might possibly win, and keeping that hope alive was occupying most of my energy. I am/was so adorable. Eventually they got to my category… Best Male Performance in a Drama! And… well, first there was a technical snafu, and they didn’t show the little “Oscar Winning Moment” video that plays before they announce the winners! You know, the ones they have so that everyone in the audience who has no idea who I am can see a 10 second clip to let them go “oh, ok, yeah, he seems cool, I guess” before promptly forgetting me once the next clip plays. None of the best male performances in a drama got clips! Perhaps our performances were so powerful, it was decided that we would have moved the audience to tears, which was in direct opposition of their stated goal of making everyone laugh more loudly. Or maybe it was just a technical error.
Regardless, I lost to the excellently named Xander Barkely, who really did deserve the award for his exemplary performance in The Booth at the End. The rest of the show proceeded smoothly, climaxing with a performance from the inestimable Vanilla Ice. He came across as a really nice guy. I actually physically bumped into him back on the red carpet. The exchange was thrilling! I said “sorry” and he said “it’s cool, dude.” Then I went to an afterparty at the luxurious lobby of a nice hotel, in which I somewhat awkwardly stood around wondering just how badly I wanted a roy rogers, ultimately deciding that I did not want one 7 dollars worth of badly.
So! That is the story of my first big city awards show and red carpet extravaganza! Although I suppose the whole event would have been EVEN COOLER had I won (and had roy rogers been reasonably priced), I had an absolutely amazing time. I’m very grateful to whatever academy judged me worthy of being nominated for the award, and I’d like to thank all of the organizers involved who made the event the terrific success that it was. After much deliberation, I think I can say with confidence: yes, I WOULD like to be nominated for more awards in the future.